I talk about random shit. I like music,art and film. Ask me anything.
I woke this morning at nine, I went to sleep at four. I cursed at myself and went back to sleep, I didn’t dream, it was just dark; it’s always been like this since I could remember. A bit later I woke up and decided to get out of bed. The morning sun was cutting through the curtains and hitting my face, it hurt. I walked into the kitchen and brewed some coffee, it was old but I could hardly care. I gulped it down and went to my cell to call my friend, see if we were still going to hang. As I was doing that, I saw her face. It hurt, not like the light cutting though the curtain, but it hurt like someone ripping out every good feeling you had ever in your entire life and replacing it with pain and despair and self hate. I put the phone in my pocket and left to my friends house, the November wind pushing me closer to the edge of the road, I had to periodically move myself to the outer edge of the sidewalk so I wouldn’t fall.
When I got to my friends, we sat down and watched some random comedy and immediately got bored with it, then moving into his room to play some games. After a bit, we left and were going to go get some food with other friends, he offered my some weed, I turned down the offer, I should have not though. We went to the donut shop to eat and sat in the back. We joked around and enjoyed ourselves. I was distracted. I was happy. Then I had to leave, I said my goodbyes and rushed back home.
When I came home, I sat in the couch and thought. That moment when everything around you becomes unimportant and you just lose yourself in thought. I was lost, so lost. I could say that I really didn’t want to leave. I fell asleep and dreamt nothing.